Whether you work at DBS, Shopee, Singtel, or a startup in One-North, moments of personal loss affect us all. When a colleague experiences bereavement, a sincere condolence message can offer meaningful support, especially in Singapore's close-knit, diverse workplaces.
But how do you strike the right tone? What should you say? And what should you avoid?
This article will explore the essentials of writing a condolence message that is respectful, authentic, and appropriate, along with message examples, mistakes to avoid, and professional templates to use across different scenarios.
Let’s help you express care, not just courtesy.
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Why Condolence Messages Matter in the Workplace
A condolence message isn’t just a nice gesture—it’s a vital part of professional empathy. In times of personal loss, the workplace can either feel isolating or incredibly supportive. A well-worded message can help a colleague feel seen, respected, and emotionally safe at work.
When we acknowledge someone’s grief, we strengthen team culture. We show that emotional intelligence isn’t separate from professionalism—it’s part of it. Whether you’re a manager, peer, or junior teammate, a simple message can help reduce discomfort and build trust in the workplace.
It also shows cultural and emotional awareness—especially important in diverse teams where expressions of grief may vary. Taking the time to write a thoughtful condolence note helps foster a more compassionate, resilient work environment.
Ultimately, a good condolence message doesn’t fix the loss—but it makes sure your colleague doesn’t have to carry it alone.
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What to Say in a Condolence Message to a Colleague
Writing a condolence message to a colleague requires a balance of empathy, professionalism, and simplicity. You don’t need poetic language or long paragraphs—just genuine words of support that feel personal, respectful, and sincere.
Here are a few ideas to help you shape your message, depending on your relationship and comfort level:
- Keep it short and sincere: “I was very sorry to hear about your loss. Please know I’m thinking of you.”
- Offer comfort without overpromising: “If you need anything or want to talk, I’m here.”
- Avoid clichés: Stay away from phrases like “they’re in a better place” or “everything happens for a reason.” These may not land well, especially in a professional setting.
- Respect their privacy: Acknowledge their grief, but don’t ask personal questions unless they open up to you.
- Use their loved one’s name if appropriate: It humanises your message and makes it more meaningful: “I’m so sorry to hear about your father, David.”
If you’re unsure what to write in a sympathy message, start with a simple sentence of acknowledgment and let the tone stay calm and steady. This isn’t the time for jokes or elaborate metaphors; clarity and warmth matter more.
In short, the best condolence messages at work are those that feel human, even if they’re just a few lines long.
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Message Templates and Examples
If you’re unsure how to begin, these sample condolence messages can help you express your support with clarity and care. Use them as they are, or personalise to suit your tone and relationship with the colleague.
1. Simple and Sincere
“I was so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family during this time.”
2. Formal and Respectful
“Please accept my deepest condolences. I hope you’re able to find comfort and peace in the memories you shared.”
3. For a Close Colleague
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Just know that I’m here for you—for a chat, a coffee, or anything you need.”
4. When You Didn’t Know the Person Who Passed
“Though I didn’t know your [relation], I’m truly sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
5. Professional Email Template
Subject: Thinking of You
Hi [Colleague’s Name],
I just wanted to extend my sincere condolences. I was very sorry to hear about your loss. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you during this time. Take all the time you need.
Warm regards,
[Your Name]
These examples offer a range of tones—from reserved and formal to warm and friendly. Choose one that feels right for your relationship and the context.
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What to Avoid in Your Message
Even with the best intentions, it’s easy to say the wrong thing during such a sensitive time. Here are some things to avoid when writing a condolence message to a colleague:
- Avoid clichés like “everything happens for a reason” or “they’re in a better place.” These may feel dismissive rather than comforting, especially if the person is not ready to process the loss through a philosophical lens.
- Don’t make it about yourself. While it’s natural to want to relate, avoid turning the message into a story about your own past grief or experience. Keep the focus on your colleague’s situation.
- Steer clear of religious references unless you’re absolutely sure they share those beliefs. Not everyone grieves within a religious framework, and it’s best to keep your words universally respectful.
- Don’t speculate on how they feel. Avoid assumptions like “you must feel devastated.” Instead, acknowledge their loss and offer support.
- Never comment on the circumstances of the death. Don’t bring up the cause, timing, or details unless your colleague has shared them and is comfortable discussing them.
Writing with sensitivity means thinking not just about what to say, but also about what not to say. Keep your tone empathetic and your message short if you’re unsure. A few thoughtful words are better than a long message filled with platitudes.
Tips on Delivery: Email, Card, In-Person
How you deliver a condolence message can matter just as much as what you write. Choosing the right format shows thoughtfulness and respect, especially in a professional setting. Here are three common ways to express your sympathy, along with tips for each.
1. Email
Email is appropriate when you want to express condolences quickly and in writing. It’s also a preferred option in remote or hybrid workplaces.
- Keep it short and considerate. A few sincere lines go a long way.
- Use a clear subject line. For example, “Thinking of You” or “My Condolences.”
- Send it directly to the colleague, not to a group or thread.
2. Card or Note
A handwritten card adds a personal touch. It shows you took the time to craft something meaningful, especially appreciated when someone returns from bereavement leave.
- Use neutral stationery. Keep it simple and professional.
- Write neatly and sign with your name only. No need to mention your role or title.
- Drop it off discreetly or give it to someone trusted to deliver it.
3. In-Person
Speaking to your colleague face-to-face? Keep it brief and heartfelt. This can feel more supportive when done with empathy.
- Approach them when they’re alone or at ease. Avoid catching them off-guard in a group setting.
- Say something simple like “I just wanted to say I’m very sorry for your loss.”
- Be okay with silence. You don’t need to fill the space with words—just being there matters.
Each method has its place depending on timing, your relationship with the colleague, and workplace culture. Choose the approach that feels most respectful and appropriate for the moment.
